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I lost my 2 year old italian greyhound Mia on 9/12… she was the most precious dog, and I feel like there is nothing left inside of me. It was traumatic because she was in shock from loss of blood by the time I got to her… it all happened in less than 9 hours.. she had a faint heartbeat and was cold and in shock. She was mostly an indoor dog and had all vaccinations and I have no idea why this happened.. the vet said possibly an underlying condition. I was going to breed her in a few years, and keep one of her children.
I pray that she forgives me for not being there and that she knows I was holding her when she passed on the way to the vet. She was in shock, but her heart was still beating..I don’t think she could hear or see me but I pray she could smell me. I think she waited for me to get there…..She was only 7 lbs and she was my baby, not my pet.
She had dresses and sweaters, pajamas, raincoats, winter coats, t-shirts, toys, cute little beds, and was so precious.. She loved wearing clothes, since her breed has little hair and not a thick coat, she would run to the bedroom excited, tail wagging when I asked, do you want your sweater? Mamma will get it for you." She was very attached to me and it took months for her to let someone touch her. She was always by my side, never sleeping in another room, even when I showered, she would sit on the bathmat and sometimes jump in even though she didn’t really like the water. I took her with me to the store, on a business trip, and this summer to the beach and she laid on the chair with me.
I ask how/why god would take her from me so early in her life and so traumatically, but I pray to him that she is safe and that she forgives me for leaving her that night, as I very rarely did. I pray that she didn’t suffer or feel pain..I want to take it all from her and have me feel it instead of her.
I have 2 other dogs, 4 and 9 and my family bred/raised and had so many dogs while I was growing up, and we lost many but this hurt is so bad, I feel empty inside, I can’t eat or sleep and I can’t stop crying.
Everyone tells me that it gets better but I don’t want the hurt to stop, I feel like that is letting her go….. i would give anything to have her back, I love and miss her so much words cannot describe.
I left a high-paying corporate job to start a pet-care business and just closed it on Sept 25th, I wasn’t able to pay my bills, due to losing clients in this economy. So now I am unemployed, moving back in with my parents 3 hours away and I am so depressed and lonely…. I don’t know what to do. I finished Dr Sife’s book, as well as another and it helped me but I just picked up her ashes 2 days ago and I can’t even look at the bag the vet provided. I feel so alone, I need her with me… especially now with my world falling apart. Without Mia I can’t find any comfort..she was my comfort and love… I never imagined I would be moving from a place I love, closing my pet care business that was my passion, have no income or money to pay my bills…I don’t think I can do it without her… I don’t find joy in anything. Saturday will be 3 weeks, and I still think she is just sleeping under the blankets on my bed… I don’t have health insurance because I was self employed, so I am not able to afford a therapist or counselor. I’ve suffered from depression before, have major anxiety and medication only helps slightly. I struggle through each day, crying or sick… I have been forcing myself to eat but my body isn’t cooperating.
Any advice/help would be so much appreciated, thank you
My Precious Little Girl Mia 6/1/07-9/12/09
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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You had a very special relationship that will probably never be replaced. He was so lucky to have you as his owner. I know he felt you there with him. You did nothing wrong. You did everything right by giving him a great life while he was here.
I can relate to everything your are feeling. 10 years ago, I lost my precious Shih-tzu. I had 6 weeks of watching him slowing die. I lost my father, lost my job, found a job that was awful and then lost my precious buddy Tuffy. It sent me in a depression just like you are in. Only those that have lived through depression can understand what you are going through. I felt like I was totally empty inside, as though I was missing from my body. If you take care of yourself, it will get better. A lot has happened to you all at once. I realize you do not have any insurance but you really need help to get through this. Medication can help for now. It will help you move in the right direction. Please listen to me. I know. I didn’t want to go on living. The medicine helped. Then my friend gave me a new puppy. It really helped me heal. I keep pictures of Tuffy around the house. I will never forget him. He was just 5 years old. It’s been 10 years and that puppy my friend gave me has given me lots of joy. My son calls her the pampered princess! Getting another pet will never replace the one you lost but it will help you heal and move on. Please let me know how you are doing. I am very concerned about you.Thank you for your response, I was away for a week, on a trip to "get my mind off things", it didn’t do that, though. I kept thinking that when i got back, she was going to be at my parents with my other 2 dogs.
I am moving this weekend and feel so lost, anxious and helpless. I have so many bills, moving back in with my parents who seem to be acting as though it’s an inconvenience…not helping! I have been sleeping a little better and definitely eating better.
I miss her so much, it hurts so bad and I keep seeing her little body the way I found her, it’s so hard to block that out.. I’m going to my dr where I currently live to see if he can send my precriptions for at least 2 months until I can find another dr, which shouldn’t be aproblem because he is a fabulous dr, I hate to leave him.. but 4 hours away would be difficult to keep him as my GP.
What happened to you sounds so similar and I so appreciate you taking the time to respond. I know I will get through this, but even on vacation I thought about just jumping over the balcony at the hotel… just to be with her and not deal with anything. I would never do it, but the fact that it crosses my mind scares me.
I have 2 dogs to take care of and I love them, so I need to focus on that for now, and finding a job. Once the move is complete hopefully things will fall into place. I’ve cut out a lot of my friends in the past month, today is one month, she passed on (9/12). I have to at least see my friends that i’ve spent the last 8 years with before I move but I just have no desire to be in social situations.
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