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Oh my God, I know what you are saying and I do certainly know how that feels. My dog Berti died 5 days ago. And the role I played in the five days before that makes me guilty for the rest of my life. I do not know how to escape this feeling of being responsible for his death. He had been attacked by another dog – from behind. He had no chance. I hit that other dog as hard as I could to get him off. It worked. And Berti seemed okay. Only – he sit in the creek as if to cool his bum or to get over the shock.
On our afternoon walk he almost collapsed. I was extremely worried, but I considered that he could have simply been traumatized. This is when I should have reacted first! And I waited till the evening before I saw a vet. Vets do best what they know to do. There are seemingly factors they do not know. A "normal" vet, for example, may know rather little about internal injuries. He will treat your dog for infections or a twisted stomach or else. We wasted more than 2 days. And what is also difficult during this time – he suffered. He couldn’t pooh nor pee. I had to feed him with a syringe. I blame myself for the rest of my life for not going to a vet clinic straight away. And then, the long Pentecoste weekend when everyone is on holidays on Monday! All odds against him, really. But even at the clinic where I had gone ignoring my vets advice – it took them hours to get a CT. And instead of having the results available, they announced to me only later that they would have the images by 9 a.m. next morning. Should I have told them to put my son down then? Yes, he is my son who died, an angel on four paws. I think, you know what I am talking about. And then they didn’t want to operate on him because of his high temperature. Fair enough. You shouldn’t do surgery in such a state. They got the temperature. The vet felt he wanted to wait even another day while Berti was making the most scary noises, a mixture of pain (he was completely drugged), fear and screams for help. And then the way he looked at me that will haunt me for the rest of my life! Eventually Berti threw up blood and they did operate on him. The next morning his heart gave up.
You know, my dog has forgiven me. I have not forgiven myself!
But also listen to this. My wife Michelle is half Chinese. In the Chinese culture, a bird in the house announces a death. When I had come back from my walk on the day of the attack when Berti had almost collapsed there was a bird in my living-room.
And then I remembered that I had actually dreamed of pure, clean water pouring out of my toilet flooding the whole house. That was days before the events started. Tears! Were his days counted? Was I then not the super-hero, the master of life and death? Had there been no way to protect him? Was he meant to go? But the question still remains why a pure soul that has never thought a single negative thought and had only been pure love and affection, would have to suffer like this.Click on any picture to see full size:
Please take your dog to another vet, immediately. You always need a second opinion. Even better – go to a vet clinic if there is one not too far away! My dog died five days ago. You don’t want to know the gruesome details of 5 days of suffering until his heart eventually gave in. To my mind, he was wrongly diagnosed. You know, "normal" vets would look at their checklist of what needs to be done. Like all of us, they don’t have a complete knowledge of everything that could happen to a dog. They are not perfect. No-one of us is perfect. My trust in my vet killed my dog. But I know that perhaps my dog could have been saved had I taken him for a second opinion. X-rays don’t always show what you are looking for. A CT could tell more. Infections are always a possibility. But what about necrotic tissue that has formed, an internal bleeding, a tumor?
