Home › Community › Pet Loss Support › when will it stop hurting so much
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Mar 18, 2009 at 3:37 #493564
I SO UNDERSTAND YOUR LOSS. My beloved Rainey, was only 9 yrs old. She was lab sharpei, but you will not find a dog on here that looked like her. She was stunning. She was so smart, and cared about me. She looked like she was 2 years old. But the last year I had so much stress in my life, and she absorbed it. My dad had lung cancer, and then my mom had a stroke. My mom lived in another state, so I took 4 plane trips. Whenever I left Rainey she would get bowel trouble.. She started sitting on my foot at the computer, and whining when I brushed my hair for work about 2 mos before she died. She knew something was wrong, and I did not know it. She started lying in the dirt under the bushes, and her belly got round. Well I took her to the vet, and he said she had arthritis in her back. She also had lipomas under her arm, so she would limp. I was a runner and injured my feet, and develped fatigue, so I could not walk them. I used to until 10 mos ago. That is when she started to worry it seemed. Then I got sick from a doctor over Christmas, and it really freaked her.. Out of the blue , her eyes squinted in pain. I took her to the vet, and she had a blockage or tumor in her intestine. She had fluid in her belly. They operated and took out the tumor, but it had leaked. 11 days later, she started to hurt really bad, but when I tried to take her in to end her misery, she started to cry (not whine, but she put her lip out, just like me, and she was crying).. She would not let me get her feet into the car…She made her body dead weight, she was so sad…. she did not want to go in the car, but not back in the house either..she just did not want it to happen…
The next day, I was able to get a home call vet to come, and Rainey was on her last legs. We put her on my bed, and I told her "no more pain " and "what a good girl she was" she could let go… she did not cry..The cancer had spread in days to her entire body…she was looking at me with those eyes that said why? It broke my heart, because she felt her job was to protect me, and the other dog Sage, who is broken hearted.. But the other dog only cares about food, not about me at all, Rainey was my soulmate..I am like you, crying and crying, and at the same time, my nursing license got in trouble because my sisters called an attorney and I have chronic pain, long story, but I have lost everything. Rainey was the only unconditional friend I had.. No husband no job, nothing… I am lost… I pray to God, and I look on the internet, but I blame myself, for her intestinal tumor. They said it was so rare, so that makes me feel horrible. She had irritable bowel, so it must be from worrying about my pain and depression.. Her beautiful picture is below. Have you ever seen such a gorgeous girl? CarlaJan 30, 2010 at 10:08 #493565I lost my MUCH loved Jackson on the day before Thanksgiving and I totally understand that pain you’re feeling. For awhile, I honestly didn’t think I’d live through the loss. The grief would hit me so hard, I could barely breathe !!! Time has helped but I absolutely know that a part of my heart will never heal from loosing jackson. I will move on but I think the sadness will always be with me.
Feb 17, 2010 at 8:07 #493566I’m so very sorry for your loss of your boy, Frosty. It will get better but you can’t rush the grieving process. I lost my 10 year old boy, Jakey, in January 2009 and still grieve for him. I focused all my attention on my other dog, Katie, and did activities with her that I couldn’t do with 2 large dogs. It broke my heart when Jakey died and I couldn’t think of him without crying my eyes out. I didn’t think I was ever going to get over him and I never have, but it has gotten better. It just takes alot more time than you think it will. It’s SO important to give your love, your time and attention to your other 2 dogs. They need you so much. It’s not fair to them to lose their brother, then to lose your affection. I’m sure they are grieving for Frosty also. It helped me to write down my thoughts about Jakey, I also talked about my grief for him with a couple of close friends that have dogs and understand how deeply I love Jakey. You will never stop missing Frosty. I felt like nothing mattered anymore since jakey was gone, but your family still needs you. Cry when you need to, don’t hold back, talk to your family and friends about the way you feel, never be embarassed that you are grieving so hard for your boy, everyone who loves their pets understands how you feel. Try to remember all the good times you had with Frosty and keep pictures of him on your desk, walls, computer wallpaper, look at his pictures and think of him often. Don’t try to avoid thinking about him. You have to work through your grief to get better.
I really feel for you, I still cry for Jakey, not as often, but just as hard.May 6, 2010 at 12:08 #493567I know your pain, many people do…I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Frosty, he seemed like a sweet fella…I just lost my Lab, Max almost 3 months ago and my family had him for almost 10 years, like some dogs, he ran away to die alone…he usually never went missing for more than 5 days, but 3 months go by and it’s pretty much a guarantee that he is gone for good…all I can say is that time does heal all wounds, and the time duration of grief is different for everyone, I am still fresh into my max’s death, and I think it hasn’t really sunk in yet…maybe it’s that way for you too…but I have always helped my grief by having pictures of my deceased friends everywhere in the house, then in time I won’t need to have those pictures up, also you do have 2 other dogs to love, use them to help you grieve, cry into their furr, it’s like crying on someone’s shoulder, hold them close many times, snuggle with them often, talk to them like they are people, you be surprised by how much they listen, I don’t have another dog to help with my grief, but I do have 2 sweet cats to cry on and they let me…I feel for you, it hurts so much to lose an animal companion, I have lost many of them in my 27 years on this earth. And I take the death of a pet friend very hard too…the truth is, we are human beings designed to love and hold so much love even for a animal companion, we are designed to feel, to hurt when we lose our faithful pets, when there is love, there is heartbreak, but it is better to have loved and loss than to love at all….it’s human nature to hurt so much, and do what you can to heal the hole in your heart, talk with friends and family too, they help more than you could even know…Your Frosty is in heaven waiting for you to reunite with him someday when it is your time, he is happy, and in no pain or suffering. Earth’s loss is heaven’s gain, even for animals…I’m not sure of your religious beliefs, but if you do believe in God, he wraps his arms around those who has lost one of his creatures he created…be strong, the pain will subside and dull little by little as the years go on, and you are always blessed with new animal friends that help filled the hole in your heart…
May 6, 2010 at 3:49 #493568We lost my much loved little Angel, Jackson on the day before Thanksgiving last year. Needless to say, the holidays were very sad !! For a time, I actually didn’t think I could survive the loss, the pain and sadness was so horrible !!! I still think of him daily and the tears come again. I truly don’t think I’ll EVER get over loving and loosing him !! My brain totally understands that death happens but my heart just doesn’t listen to common sense !! It will take you as long as it will take for your heart to heal. I think the pain lessens but I doubt that it actually goes away !!
May 18, 2010 at 3:09 #493569I ask the same I am so sorry for your loss as well. a pain so deep and emptyness its more painful then when i lost my parents at 50. may you heal someway somehow.
May 22, 2010 at 9:55 #493570I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our only "child" of 15 years just a month ago and the grief is always present as is his memory. A friend told me it gets worse and I didn’t believe her so hang on and grieve for your lost pet.
Jun 4, 2010 at 11:38 #493571It had been three years since I lost my Psyche. I still miss her more than I can say. It still hurts. It hurts so bad I wonder how I will get through the day.
I don’t think you ever get over the loss of someone you love.
Eventually, though you will find a way to push the pain back, sort of ignore it, pretending its not there. Eventually, the time you spend with this pain will lessen and the periods between these times will lengthen. But the pain, the loss, I don’t think that ever gets easier.Jul 31, 2010 at 9:45 #493572Ana,
I hope you’re feeling better. I made an offer on this forum to send out a few complimentary copies of my book Bill at Rainbow Bridge, written for the owners of departed pets. That offer still stands. If you want a copy, send me a mailing address at dan.carrison@gmail.com.
You can find the book on Amazon but, as I say, I’ll send you a copy. If you like it, perhaps you can tell your friends in the pet community.
Dan Carrison
http://www.BillAtRainbowBridge.comJan 22, 2011 at 9:53 #493573I am so sorry for your loss…i lost my sweet genny a week ago and too wonder how long this sense of loneliness and pain go away…. hugs
Jul 9, 2012 at 5:03 #493574It’ really hard to forget them especially when they are with you every single day. The moments you spend together with them. Although i keep only a hamster, it has already been craved onto my memory the times we had together. The times whereby you feed it and see his happy face when he gets his favourite food, the times when he do funny stunts and reactions that make you laugh out loud and the times you bath and talk to him always. Speaking of him makes me feel like crying again. =( . How I wish he is by me forever. *sobs*
Jul 13, 2012 at 1:33 #493575If you’d like a complimentary copy of my book, Bill at Rainbow Bridge, written for the owners of departed pets, just send a mailing address to dan.carrison@gmail.com.
You can see the book (with its 217 Five Star reviews) on Amazon. But I will send the members of this forum a free copy, if they are grieving for a lost pet.
Dan Carrison
author, Bill at Rainbow BridgeJun 15, 2021 at 9:50 #495208куль17.6BettBettXVIIHadoразнЩербПрокКудрHaruStra0005FiskведуСиллPS24сереSunfMichКоджCBaiразнТаммавто
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