Naming Pet Cats - A Cat Called Sheep

During their lifetimes, cats may acquire a series of nicknames which they grow out of. I took on a beautiful but un-handleable semi-wild kitten. After calling her 'ginger-thing' for 3 days while she remained firmly out of reach under the bed, I opted for 'Aphrodite' after the beautiful but out-of-reach goddess of love and beauty. It was rather apt when faced with a very pretty, but totally untouchable, kitten. She was later known as 'Fizzy Orange Cat' because she fizzed when picked up (she may well have fizzed and exploded if shaken, but we didn't intend to try that).

As a kitten, her tail was fluffy and squirrel-like so she quickly became Squitten (Squirrel-kitten). Squittens, however, grow up into Squats (Squirrel-cats). Aphrodite was too cumbersome for yelling out at midnight so it was shortened to Affy; she then became Daffy Affy as she mellowed from a spitfire into a rotund cuddle-puss. She happily responded to all of these names and knew that the disapproving 'Aphrodite' noise means it's time to lie low for a while. Nowadays there is, alas, a sad patch in the garden that will be forever Affy and which doesn't answer to any of those names.

Some nicknames stick and some are temporary like Mousebane or Toe-rag. A cat-shelter resident cat with a chronic snuffles was officially named Max, but soon became Hissing Sid (after a character in a song) and Sid Snot (after a Kenny Everett punk character). A road accident victim originally had a long and impressive name, but became Tripod after having a leg amputated. Even the owner has to refer to the vaccination certificate to remember the cat's original name!

So Cindy is regularly called 'Sheep' and is not suffering from any identity crises or neuroses. Sometimes she is addressed by her full microchip number, much to the astonishment of the vet, who probably is suffering from neurosis because he isn't used to his clients memorizing their pets' microchip numbers. Sappho became 'Fufflepuss' because she made those noises while washing. At least that was her nickname until Sheila visited and noticed a very laid back and fluffy cat occupying the lion's share of the sofa, from which time forward Sappho was known to her friends as 'Cushion'. Either I have the oddest friends or my cats are the sort which attract nicknames a bit like magnets attract iron filings.

Queenie, quite naturally became 'her majesty' or 'your majesty' depending on whether she was being talked about or talked to. For a cat who liked to rule large areas of the bed, it was a very apt name. Sadly she has now abdicated to the throne in the sky leaving me with a Sheep and a Smots. So, while the naming of cats is a matter for serious thought, nicknames tend to be spur-of-the-moment affairs - but they do tend to stick!

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