Little Known Feline Ailments

Lap Fungus Disorder

Symptoms
Having taken over a human lap, the cat proceeds to 'spread' in all planes. This may be accompanied by secondary symptoms such as high volume purring, dribbling, kneading and snoring. The condition is highly contagious and several 'fungoid' cats may infest a lap simultaneously.

Treatment
Topical treatment with proprietary anti-fungals is ineffective. Prompt treatment (as per Irritable Lap Syndrome) is required to alleviate the worst symptoms although in a number of cats, such treatment actually aggravates the condition. This disorder manifests itself periodically through the affected cat's life and there is no long-term cure.

Smurgling

Symptoms
Varied:- sucking at clothing, owners earlobes/nose/fingers/skin, drooling, glazed expression. Often accompanied by kneading and high volume purring.

Treatment
Ultimately incurable. It is possible to remove smurglable items from around the cat. The ailment may be transmitted to humans in the form of large laundry bills, mis-shapen clothing and chapped skin.

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