Losing my 14 year old cat :(

I'm new to this forum. I wanted to find an outlet for my current grief and I'm probably going to tear up while I write this.. I was four years old when I got <i>my</i> first cat (not necessarily the only cat the house, but one that I chose) and she was the most beautiful little thing I'd ever seen. She was the only black and white kitten in her cage and I loved her instantly. We took her home to my grandparents and immediately they loved her, too. My Grandma ended up naming her Pepper. We've had Pepper now for 14 years and she has been the best cat a pet owner could ask for. I used to cry about silly things and she would trot over to lay in my lap and comfort me.
   
Recently we noticed that she hadn't been taking good care of herself. Her paws and fur were dirty and she'd poop just about anywhere. Then, gradually, she started losing weight. She'd eat all her food but she just wasn't gaining anything. Now in the past couple of days she can't pick up her hind legs and is struggling heavily to walk. She only meows like she is in pain every now and then but remains content when I pet her even though she is skin and bones. We're planning on putting her down either tomorrow or the next day because it's getting unbearable for us to watch her suffer and we just don't have the money to get her the treatment that she needs.
   
I am upset beyond words and feel like I am about to lose one of my best friends. What's even worse is that I think that Pepper knew her health was declining because while she was getting sick, she moved to being in our front yard over being in the back where our other two cats still hang out. Jules, our "middle cat" so to speak, was really close to Pepper (basically stuck to her like she was her mother) and I think Pepper changed spots to ease the transition on the other two. Knowing this, it breaks my heart and I could really use some support.
   
I'm devastated.

I am so sorry for your loss. I feel for you. I'm losing my 5 year old cat this morning. She became suddenly ill this Saturday, she stopped eating and drinking and became depressed. She has F I P, which is fatal. I'm taking her in to be put down today and my heart is broken. If you want to talk, let me know. I found this site as an outlet for my grief as well, I was hoping to find someone to share with and work through my feelings with.
   

My heart does go out to you. 14 years is a very long time and Pepper was a lifelong companion. I too lost my pet this year she was 11 ready to turn 12 that was in June. I think in your heart you need to do what's best for your beloved Pepper. I had to make the decision for my dog who got very sick very fast. They have a way of letting us know it's time. Before my dog was put to sleep she kissed my husband and then she kissed me laid her head down and was resting peacefully. We stayed with her until the end. I feel we did the right thing and I think she loved us for that. I hope this helps you a bit. Shellyned